The Modern Little Red Hen

By Business Speaker Andrew Darbyshire

A modern-day little red may not appear to be quotable authority on economics, but then some authorities on economics aren’t worth quoting. I’ll be right back. About a year ago I imposed a little poetry on you. It was called the Incredible Bread Machine and it made a lot of sense with reference to matters economic. You didn’t object too much so having gotten away it once I’m going to try again. This is little tredis on basic economics called ‘The Modern Little Red Hen’.

Once upon a time there was little red hen who scratched about the barn yard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbours and said, “If we plant this wheat we shall have bread to eat, who will help me plant it?” “Not I” Said the cow, “Not I” said the duck, “Not I” said the pig, “Not I” said the pig, “Not I” said the goose. “Then I will” said the little red hen and she did. The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. “Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen. “Not I” said the duck. “Out of my classification” said the pig. “I’d lose my seniority” said the cow. “I’d lose my unemployment compensation” said the goose. “Then I will” said the Little Red Hen and she did. At last it came time to bake the bread. “Who will help me bake bread?” asked the little hen. “Oh that would be overtime for me” said the cow. “I’d lose my welfare benefits” said the duck. “I’m a drop out and never learned how” said the pig. “Well If I’m to be the only helper then that’s discrimination” said the goose. “Then I will” said the little red hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbours to see – they all wanted some and in fact demanded a share. But the little red hen said “No, I can eat the five loaves myself”. “Excess profits” cried the cow. “Capitalist leech” screamed the duck. “I demand equal rights” yelled the goose and the pig just grunted. And they painted unfair picket signs and marched round and round the hen shouting obscenities. When the government agent came he said to the little red hen “you must not be greedy.” “But I earned the bread” said the little red hen. “Exactly, that’s the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barn yard can earn as much as he wants but under our modern government regulation the productive workers must divide their products with the idol”. And they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked “I am grateful, I am grateful.” But her neighbours wondered why she never again baked any more bread.
I guess a lot of us have been wondering something like that.

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